Meet Brock

It finally happened guys. I have named a sex toy.

 

Meet Brock:

Oh The Pretty

No really, his name is Brock.

Now first of all we’re going to ignore the fuzzy quality of this picture. I got a new camera and haven’t worked out all the kinks. (HA! See what I did there?) It took a ridiculous amount of time to figure out how to resize and flip the image. Also something we aren’t talking about.

 

Brock is of the Pleasure Works Brand and is technically called the Cadet. He is made out of silicone (As a side note I recently got an email with somebody asking why their toy was destroyed. After some talking it came about that silicone lube was used on a silicone toy. I know it sounds like they would go together but they do not. Waterbased lubes guys… always the safe choice.)which is always a body safe win for everybody especially if you plan on sharing. Boil it and it’s sanitized. The box for this sex toy is just a standard toy box with a picture of the dildo on the front. What’s really awesome here though is that instead of all the plastic and cardboard to hold the toy inside the box it’s just a simple bag. Much less waste.

So now the things you actually care about. Packaging and such are all good things but don’t mean a damn thing if the toy itself sucks.

The base of Brock is harness compatible and as such anal safe as well (Seriously though if you manage to get lose it.. I think we’re all going to require photographic evidence and a detailed explanation as to how you actually did this). This is definitely a realistic dildo right from the coloring and feel to the design and detailing. Veins have been added along the top of the shaft giving it an even more realistic feeling than just the pronounced head would give it. What I really like here is that the veins flow in with the toy. They don’t protrude or look out of place like they can if they’re done badly. You also can’t really feel them on the toy once it’s inserted. If you’re having a really sensitive day you might but in general you don’t notice them. Which is nice, sometimes the detailing on a toy can completely ruin the feel of it and be overwhelming in a bad way. That is so not the case here. The head of the toy can obviously be felt but again, it’s done in a way that isn’t irritating or jarring.

If you haven’t guessed by now.. this toy? I love it. It’s awesome. Only thing I take issue with is I wish the base was a little wider just so it was more comfortable to hold. That’s it. One thing, and to be honest it is not a big deal and not at all a draw back. When you have to work to find a flaw in a toy you know it’s a winner. I like it enough as I was sitting here reviewing it for you I was squeezing it in my hands like a stress ball… It’s one of those new things you get that you pet and touch as you walk by because you love it that much. I have never had a toy I liked to this extent this quickly.  I think it’s actually bumped my tantus out of the first slot which I honestly didn’t think would happen at any point. It’s been there for several years.

As an added bonus the size of this toy is pretty much perfect. (16.5cm x 4.1cm) It’s big enough to give that deliciously full feeling without being immensely massive and painful to some. I like big dildos (and I cannot lie! *putting down the coffee now*) but sometimes they can just be too much. This one seems to fit no matter what your preference that day is. It is very flexible, I can bend it right in half without much effort at all. However, it still manages to be stiff enough that actually thrusting with it works just fine. It does move to fit your insides properly so you don’t end up feeling like you’re stabbing yourself but it doesn’t actually bend to the point of being useless, or frustrating while in use.
Thank you to Goodvibes for letting me review this toy. Seriously. Capital “T” on Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some..uh, business to attend to.

 

Spamalot

So, I logged in to over 30 comments needing approval. All spam. The fuck is with that lately?!

Anyhow, Yes, I am back. It’s been a crazy whirlwind of a couple months. Most of November was actually spent in my provinces capital. Somewhere I haven’t been since I stayed with Cael. This time? About 1000x more fun. First… I actually got to leave the house and see a good portion of the city. Though in all fairness I seen more of the city in one outing than I did all of last time. I went because my cousin and his wife had just had a baby. Since he was out of town and she was by herself I decided to go up and spend some time with them. Best decision. I am so ridiculously in love with that baby. Who by the way is very well behaved… hardly cries, doesn’t cling.. he’s pretty much perfect. I may be biased though. So for the most of the few weeks I was up there I was playing with him. Since his mother had to run down to a close by city for some training I ended up spending a couple days completely alone with him… for the most part. It was the first time she had left him. She phoned. A lot. As did my cousin.

I think one of my favorite things about my trip was watching my cousin with his son. So. Awkward. Completely unsure and kinda cute which considering my cousin has been in the army since he turned 18 most of the cute had be sucked out of him. It’s awesome to watch.

During my trip there I think we spent a total of 4 days at home where we didn’t go somewhere. Woman is insanely busy. By the end of the trip noet only had I been in the City (which they do live outside of) but I had also been to Cold Creek and Saskatchewan. There was also a lot of shopping. It was right before Christmas so I did most of my shopping there. Spent an entire day wandering around the big mall there carrying the baby… twas a hardship. I keep telling my cousins wife I don’t plan to have kids so I’m just going to spoil hers. Which thus far I Am. For christmas he got some old cartoons that every child should see, some clothes and a hand drawn birth plaque. I have a package on my table waiting to be mailed up to them that has a tigger jumper and hat in it (I got really excited when I found that, who doesn’t love tigger!?) along with a batman onesie. Yes. Batman. Sephi is already fighting me on it as she claims she is the batman.

The day I went to go home we stopped a produce store before we left the city. Cheapest produce ever… my foodie was in heaven. A gigantic box full for $40? DONE. That? Was where the happy ended for a while though. However I did learn my insanity pills are working because I didn’t lose my shit the entire time. When I got home? I came back to a computer that was not turning on and when it did it wouldn’t boot up all the way. I couldn’t afford to fix it right away so it had to wait until after Christmas. Apparently the windows 8 malfunctioned. …. let me count the ways I am not impressed -.-  Not even a year old. It hadn’t been tampered with because I left it at home… nobody to touch it. THEN my phone stopped working. And I lost a diamond in my ring. Everything I owned was broken. But fast forward a couple weeks of dreading the bills and everything is fixed and I haven’t spent a cent. My computer was warranty, my phone somehow reset itself, and for some reason I am not questioning the store I got the ring from replaced the diamond at their cost. Lucky streak? I hit it.

 

Christmas was really good this year. It was the first christmas without my grandmother but it worked out okay. Eventually. There was a lot of drama to begin with because people were lieing and avoiding real reasons for shit until I finally called it and said we would do two christmas… being the bigger person so as to not create drama. Yeah. Fucking. Right. Somehow I ended up being the bad guy in that situation because “I took things wrong” Yes. I often mistake somebody stabbing my in the back and back dooring me on shit wrong. Believe it or not though… since I’ve been taking these pills I have my anger back… but I also have lost every bit of give a fuck I had so I was good with the villian thing. Even when my aunt phoned and played the Grandma, family rift card…and my dad agreed. We didn’t talk for about a week. Still not impressed honestly but whatever. My cousin, his wife and their baby came down and stayed with us. Normally they stay at my grandparents but my cousins wife wasn’t too thrilled about it since she’d basically be running grandmas house and she wasn’t comfortable with that and I don’t blame her at all. I hate going over there and being the one to clean and cook…it just feels weird. Plus she had people to talk to here and people that were excited about her son, which oddly nobody else seems to care about. (Yeah, family has been fun. I’ve pretty much disowned or disassociated myself with them all but a select few) Christmas day my cousin and his wife went to my other cousins house. (Who btw invited my cousins ex who lived with him before his wife moved in. The one they had to fight to get out. Yep. My “family” is so considerate.) My family spent it in our living room watching movies and having munchies. The next day I made dinner here and it was okay. My grandpa is not coping so well without his wife. He has however started dating somebody.. that my grandma hated.  He’s lieing to us about it though. But he’s not lieing well. She lives down the street… like we haven’t seen him. So that was a bit awkward with his attitude.

I think for major stuff that’s been about it. Oh. Except for that whole threesome thing. But we can talk about that next time. *wanders off fanning self*